September

She's so exited!

Jess took the first day of school off work to help console me :)

All smiles and no tears from this big girl!

Sierra may have helped him out with this. We have some mammoth sized potato bugs out here!

Pedis, Jaxon demanded that he also be included.  Daddy wasn't too excited when he got home :)

Gum bubbles.  She's pretty proud!

Every night after dinner Sierra has been reading to Jaxon.

I am so blessed.  SO blessed.

Heavenly harvest!!!!  I love this time of year!

Sierra started school this month.  I cannot believe I have a kindergartner!  It has been an adjustment!  Even though she is just going half a day, she's never been away from me on a regular basis and around that many kids day in and day out. She says she loves it but is exhausted and GRUMPY when she gets home.  There have been a few times that her behavior has been so extreme that I started to panic that something bad happened at school.   But I'm beginning to realize she needs a blood sugar boost right away and a few minutes to decompress.  To be honest, I hope that the after school craziness ends soon.  It's a little scary.

On a positive note, school has matured her in some ways and she really loves to sit and read!  She's putting sounds together and starting to read small words.  She loves to play teacher all evening.  I expected Jaxon to miss her presence more, but he seems to be enjoying his one on one time with me and like being able to play with things without being bossed around :)  I'm getting lots of errands done while we wait for her to get done with class, and he has been loving shopping with me.  He's always happy to see her when we go pick her up though and every morning after we walk her to class he gives her and big hug and kiss and says "Bye, Sissy!"  I haven't been able to volunteer in class yet, but I am looking forward to that starting next month.  I'm hoping that Sierra will do okay with me being there, and not expect to be able to be with me every second I'm there.  We shall see.

As a stay at home mommy, I love the connection that my kids and I have, but I definitely do worry how life will be for them without me.  I want them to know that I am always there for them, but also be able to function well without me.  It was nice to see her go into her classroom on the first morning excited, and after getting hugs and kisses there were no tears when Jaxon, Jess, and I left.  Except by me after we exited the building.  This is a new season in life for us, and I'm praying that my baby girl will be able to be independent and love school and learning.  There are moments of me worrying if I should have sent her to pre-school to prepare her for this, but we are where we are and cannot go back. So we are moving forward and making the best out of it!

On a sad note, we lost our beloved Zoey pup of 15 years on the last day of August.  We are all pretty devastated.  She was such a good girl and has been a part of all of our married life together.  She went downhill rather quickly and one evening we decided it was time to take her to the Dr to say goodbye.  The vet confirmed our suspicions and said the most humane thing to do was to put her to sleep.  They guessed that she had cancer that had metastasized to her lungs which was causing her to cough and she had quit eating a few days prior.  They gave her a comfy blanky to lie on, let us love on her for a really long time, give her some finally goodies, and stay with her while she went to sleep.  It was so sad and we both cried and cried.  When we went to pick the kiddos up afterwards, there was a rainbow in the sky even though it was starting to get dark.  Sierra in a sad quiet voice said, "I think that's Zoey going to Heaven."  So we all cried some more.  Unbeknownst to us there is a poem called the rainbow bridge about pets "crossing over".  A few days after Zoey died, we received a sympathy card in the mail from the vet's office with her paw print and this poem....

Oh my, more tears.  So many I couldn't even finish reading it.  It's still hard to drive up the driveway and not see her waiting for us or walk down to get the mail without her plodding along behind me.  She was my daytime guardian, my faithful garden companion, such a sweet girl to the kids, and just the best darn dog ever.  She can't ever be replaced.  She sure was special.  RIP, Zoey girl.

August

A quiet ride to Lincoln City :)

GG and Jaxon

Safety Town!

Graduation

GG came to watch

Sierra made some new friends

And got a pink rose from GG

Ummm..... superhero/minnie mouse/fox

It's August!  School is just around the corner.  Sierra is starting to feel pretty apprehensive about it but is still excited.  Usually before bed her fears come out and there have been lots of tears and I end up laying with her until she goes to sleep.  I'm not really sure how to calm her worries besides just being there.  I registered her for Safety Town which is just for kids ready to go into kindergarten.  They learn all kinds of safety tips and get to know other kids that will be going to school with them.  It was a week long and from 9 to12.  Sierra wasn't as fond of it as she was her bible school, but she did fine and made some new friends.  She and Jaxon got their first colds by the end of the week, a precursor, I'm sure of what is to come when school starts.   

We took a trip to Lincoln City for  a few days mid month.  Mom and Dad rented a house to celebrate all of our late summer.fall birthdays.  Grandma and John came too as well as Amy and Ben.  The kids did great, but with all four of us in one room at night, Jess and I didn't get whole lot of sleep.  The weather was nice, there was a hot tub, good food, and family time.  

The garden has been doing great and the kids and I have been spending a lot of time outside and at Grandma Shelly's house enjoying her pool!  Sierra has been a little fish and is learning to doggie paddle.  She's been wearing floaties on her arms since she was little and trying to get them off of her has been really hard.  But after being in the pool enough (usually 3 or 4 days a week) she can now comfortably go without them and can doggie paddle across the whole pool.  She can touch everywhere, which makes it less worrisome for me!  It's been awesome to see her confidence build.  Jaxon likes to dip his toes in and  if it's hot enough outside will let me put his body in, but usually he wants me to carry him around the whole time and sing row your boat.  The weather has been so beautiful and I'm so grateful we have a place that's close by, and free to swim.

I'm still trying to prepare myself for next month and the changes that are coming.  It makes me so emotional!  I've been trying really hard to just act excited in front of Sierra so she doesn't pick up on it.  Jaxon and I have enjoyed our one on one time while she's been gone at her week long "practice schools".  I know this is all a part of life, but it's so hard to see your kiddos grow up.  Here's to hoping that I can keep it together on her first day!  :)

July

Collecting eggs...

Talking with the goats...

Feeding the pig...

Being greeted by the llama (he LOVED Sierra)

Picking beans with GG while Sissy is in Vacation Bible School

Silly hair day at VBS

Swinging with Grammy

Trying to get some family pics

 

Fun stuff

OOh pretty fireworks!

Until they start to make NOISE.

"This is not safe!"

Frolic Parade

First ripe tomato!

Craft time

Roasting marshmallows on the new fire pit

Sierra's birthday gift from Daddy

Happy birthday, sweet Girl!

What a busy month!  We spent four days feeding our neighbors animals and it was quite a task!  They have about 40 chickens, 10 rabbits, 6 goats, 2 pigs, and 8 llamas (including a brand new baby).   I will say that I will never have that many animals because they are a ton of work.  But the kiddos enjoyed helping and it was a neat experience for all of us.  

My sister came to visit for a few days at the first of the month and we loved having her!  The kids love her to pieces and I miss her lots, so I'm always glad when she comes for a visit.  Portland's not too far away, but a two plus hour drive with a two and almost five year old feels very LONG!  We've also enjoyed watching the garden grow this month!  Everything seems to be a tad early.  Unfortunately we did have a rain late and lost our crop of cherries for the second year in a row!  Such a bummer!  It must also be a year of rest for the plum trees because we have very few plums this year.  The grapes are still looking great though!

In preparation for school, I sent Sierra to Vacation Bible School for a week this month.  She was very exited about it and I was a nervous wreck.  In the car on the way to her first day she said, "Mommy are you leaving me with strangers?  You've never left me with strangers before!"  So I had to explain that they weren't really strangers but that yes, this was the first time she would be left with someone other than a family member.  After her question I was even more nervous about dropping her off but she headed in, got her name tag and took off without looking back.  I kind of just stood there awkwardly with Jaxon in my arms, wondering if I should laugh or cry.  I didn't even get a kiss goodbye!  Despite the crazy mix of emotions going on inside me, it really was a joy to see her confident and excited.  

The week went really well, but she was really exhausted when I picked her up.  It was only 3 hours long but it really wiped her out.  She is still taking naps most days which I'm trying to wean her off of because school is coming, but to be honest, I enjoy the down time and she still seems to need the rest.  One thing that broke my heart was after picking her up on the first day, she said, "Mommy, I did something really bad today.  I cut in line."  Then she kind of whimpered and said, "I don't even know what that means but it made a boy really mad at me."  We've practiced our ABC's and sharing and being kind, but the concept of having to go the end of the line was not something she's really experienced.  Obviously at the store we wait in line but she's never really been anywhere that she's needed to line up single file to do something.  So we talked about it, I told her it was not something she should feel terrible about but that next time she should just make sure to not walk in front of someone that is already standing in line.  I noticed for the rest of the week every time I picked her up she was always the very last one in line, making sure she didn't cut.  Sweet girl.

On the second to the last day there was a family BBQ night at VBS.  Most of the kids and their parents came.  There were probably about 100 kids and their parents, so well over 200 people.  Every age group did a presentation in front of everyone.  Sierra and another child were chosen from her group to speak in front of the crowd.  On the way, she didn't even seem nervous, she was just her chipper self.  She ended up doing GREAT!  She spoke clearly and Jesse and I were so proud.  She did tell us she got a little bit nervous when she got up there, but I was just so amazed!  She's so awesome.  Seriously.  I wish I could be more like her.

Speaking of amazing, Sierra turned 5 at the end of the month.  I'm not sure how it happened.  I've been fearful of this age for a while now - knowing that she would grow up and be big enough for school someday.  Big enough to be away from me and see some of the harsher realities of life.  Kindergarten is obviously mostly PG rated, but there are mean kids.  Kids that say bad words, and hurtful words, the worst kind of words.  I want Sierra to always be the sweet girl that walked up on stage a little nervous, but not worried about how she looked or spoke.  I want her continue to be confident and brave.  I'm so afraid that school is going to take that away from her.  I hope that it doesn't. I will try my hardest to keep that from happening, but alas, I am just a mama.

I sure am proud of my big five year old though.  It's amazing how five years can feel like forever and just a second all at the same time.  We still have one month before school starts.  I'm going to squeeze her extra tight, continue to stress nightly about the changes to come, and hope and pray that she loves school and learns to continue to love herself because I sure love her!  To heaven and back!