21 Months

My little fashionista.  At least she matches her froggy pj's with froggy boots:)

 First we dig our fingers in the mud

 Then we marvel at the beautiful mud

 Then we rinse it off in the mud puddle

 Sometimes it doesn't all come off so we ask mom for help

 Fun with daisies

 And dandelions

 A little spittle and dandelion fuzz anyone?

 Mother's Day

 Four generations!

Helping mommy fill up pots 

Crazy after bath hair

Her hair is seriously out of control 

Helping water 

She loved these lilacs!  Couldn't stop smelling them. 

Happy, silly, Sierra 

I get this look more and more these days! 

It's been quite a month!  We've got this potty thing down!  Sierra now tells us when she has to go potty (she still says poo poo whether or not she has to go pee pee or poo) and rarely has accidents of either kind.  She is dry after nap time and recently has been dry in the morning too.  We can go to town in panties and she uses big potties at other people's houses or in the store without a problem.  It has been quite a journey but boy has it paid off.   Diapers are a thing of the past.  Our wallet and the environment are both cheering us on.  Well done family of 3!

I've always been so proud of how fearless (this worries me sometimes also) and confident Sierra is.  I would kind of pat myself on the back at times when I would see another child cowering at something while I watched Sierra take on the world with open arms.  And then one day there came a loud noise.  We were at my grandma's house and Sierra was playing with an old organ.  It doesn't work right and most of the keys make no sound at all.  But we discovered on a fateful day during her 21st month, that the percussion beat function of the organ works.  And it works well.  Sierra was busy playing and pushed a button that started the drums.  It was so loud that you could feel it.  I was right there but didn't know which button she had pushed.  As she was literally trying to crawl inside of me she whimpered, "No red button."  So I found the red button, pushed it, and all was quiet.  After peeling her off of me I told her we would listen to it again but not so loudly this time.  I turned it back on and clapped and danced in hopes of getting her past the trauma.  It did not work.  After that, anything remotely loud scared the daylights out of her.  We had a week where she was permanently attached to my legs. 

Despite the fact that we live in the country, the main road out here is a shortcut for trucks running loads from Alsea to Eugene.  There is a lot of truck traffic.  We cannot see it, but when they come down the hill and use their jake breaks, it is pretty loud.  Loud enough to worry Sierra.  After 20 months of being totally oblivious to the sound, she would run and leap into my lap every time a truck went by.    She spent about a week glued to me, aware of every tiny little sound; the water heater switching on, the dryer, even a truck on mickey mouse clubhouse sent her running.  I did my best to explain sounds and tell her that we just hear them with our ears and they cannot hurt us.  After several weeks, she is doing much better.  She is still very aware of sounds and asks, "What's that?" often but doesn't usually come running to me unless it's a pretty big sound. 

Despite the recent fear of sounds, she is not afraid of much else.  I try to work hard every day to create a confident child.  I've spent so much of my life being insecure and have been afraid to try new things or do things I'd really like to do.  My wish for Sierra is that she will be confident enough to pursue whatever dreams she has.  I don't want her to be afraid to fail.  I know so many of us are, and it may be an impossible wish, but I am going to try my hardest.  Whether it's encouraging her to sing at the top of her lungs, dance through the house, stick her fingers in the mud, hold a potato bug or worm, or scurry after a snake or lizard.  I cannot pretend to know exactly how to help create this confident being - but it is my mission.  I don't care what she chooses to be, I just want her to pursue her greatest loves in life. 

That being said, I realize there has to be some middle ground.  While I don't want her to be timid and afraid, I don't want her to be carefree and unaware that there are dangers around her.  Of coarse as a mommy you have moments where you want your baby to stay innocent forever - blissfully unaware that there is pain and cruelty in the world.  But there are both of those things in this world, and it's terrifying to realize that at many points in your child's life they will witness those things.  So our job as parents is to be here to comfort them but also teach them how to handle these situations when you aren't there.  What a scary job!  Please don't let me screw this up (that's pretty much my prayer every day:)!  And in trying to teach Sierra to be confident and unafraid, I'm trying to be those things as well.  After all, I am her role model, until she's at least 3 anyway:)  So when she asks me to sing Wheels on the Bus as we are walking through the grocery store, I do.  Maybe not loudly, but I do it.  I try to not complain about my flaws or point out the flaws of strangers under my breath.  When a bug flies into my hair I try not to scream and run through the field hitting myself in the head.  For those of you that know me well, this is the hardest of all!  I'm trying to show her that this world is a beautiful place bugs and all.  The interesting thing is, in trying to show her this, I'm finding beauty in unexpected places myself.  Thank you Sierra.  Thank you for making your mommy want to be a better human being.

20 Months

A fun day with mommy and daddy at the bounce house!

Daddy had a little bit of fun too:)

Happy in a new dress

Daddy put all these in her hair thinking maybe she would leave one in. 

Not so.

Yay a sunny day!  Helping with flowers.

My tulips and hyacinths lasted about 3 seconds.

Stepping on some oak balls (not sure of their scientific name;)

Easter!

Another busy month came and went.  We are still working on potty training.  #2 continues to be tricky, but Sierra is doing a lot better about not holding it all day.  We've had a few nice days and we were all so happy to go outside and spend some time in the sun.  I try to take her out at least once a day, even on rainy days.  There tends to be a lull in the rain after her nap, so we put on our boots and head out to do some puddle stomping.  I cannot wait until the weather gets better.  I know that we live in Oregon, and after growing up here I should be used to the rain.  I am not.  By February I am ready to pack up and move to another state.  I do enjoy our summers though - and love how green this part of Oregon is. 

Now that Sierra's teeth are through - her sweeter side is shining through again.  Four teeth in a short time has been pretty rough on all of us.  I was starting to really question my parenting skills.  I was afraid that I was doing something wrong and it was causing her to act out.  Luckily after those mean teeth came through - things began to go back to normal.  She still throws fits every so often, like a normal child, but they aren't every 10 minutes!  Thank goodness.  Next up are her 2 year molars.  Then she should be done for a long time.  Phew!

Easter was so fun this year.  Sierra was really into finding eggs.  For some reason I was surprised at how quickly she picked it up.  I thought she would find one egg, and be happy to eat or play with whatever was inside of it.  But once she found one, she had to keep going and wanted more, more, more!  The day before Easter we headed to town and went to an egg hunt at Stoneybrook Village (a local retirement home).  We were 2 minutes late, and the children had already been unleashed when we walked in.  There were not age divisions so all of the big kids had about 30 eggs in their baskets and the little ones had none.  One nice lady gave Sierra some of her daughters, and she was able to find a few more on her own.  She also got to meet the Easter Bunny.  All of the kids around her were backing up and their parents were trying to go get them to go get a picture with the bunny.  But they were apparently terrified of the giant rabbit.  Not Sierra.  She ran right up to him, showed him her eggs, gave him a hug, and kiss on the nose.  I was so proud of her!  We went to several other hunts before ending at Great Grandma's house where she also hid a few eggs for Sierra.  She had a blast and I think she may think that she needs eggs every time she goes to GG's! 

We spent Easter morning at church.  Sierra loves church, mostly because after my dad is done singing, he takes her downstairs for children's church.  She is very good during the music, but at the end of each song she says, "OK!  Downstairs now?"  She loves to pretend to sing along and clap to the music.  After church we visited both sets of grandparents and had a lovely meal at my parents house.  It was a really nice weekend!

This is going to be a pretty short post considering I'm kind of behind and need to get started on her next month already.  Mostly this month was still really dedicated to potty training - but we can now see and end in sight, and are pretty proud of how far she has come.

19 Months

 Our first attempt at dress up!

Wearing one of mama's old tutus 

A trip outside makes any day better

She loves to pretend to fall down and say "Hep, hep" 

Kisses! 

Our first daffodils of the year 

Playing peek a boo with daddy in the Christmas trees

(just a little walk from our house) 

Playing the ukulele requires serious concentration 

It's a bird, it's a "pane"..... 

She sure loves to be outside:) 

First lawn mower ride of the year 

Flowers for mommy 

Her crib keeps getting smaller! 

Potty training is scary!  Let me just warn you right now.  If a lot of talk about poop and pee is insulting or disgusting to you.  You may want to skip this post.  Poop and pee has been a major part of my life since March 7, when we started our potty training journey.  So that's mostly what I'm going to talk about. 

At around 17 months I started noticing some changes in Sierra's potty habits.  For starters, she started to tell me when she would go poop.  It's not that there was any question what she was doing when she would get in a squatting position, grunt loudly, and her little face would turn bright red.  That was usually a dead giveaway, but she started adding a vocal "GRRRPOOOPUUUHHHH" to the twice daily deed.  I noted this with slight amusement.

Around the same time I noticed that I was changing a lot less wet diapers a day.  I started to panic thinking that she must be dehydrated and not drinking enough.  So for a few days I pumped the poor child up with fluids until I realized that she was just learning to hold her pee.  Instead of going little bits at a time all day, she would hold it and just go once in a while.  When I realized this, that little mommy intuition voice in the back of my mind started saying, "She's ready, She's ready."  I told that voice to shut up because I was scared of potty training.  But it kept at me and so I decided that I wouldn't buy anymore diapers.  I would just use up the last package I had.  It was a costco package, so this gave me several weeks to prepare for the big moment.  During that time we practiced sitting on the potty and talked a lot about pee pee and poo poo but continued using up our diapers.  When I almost ran out, I had the urge to go and get some more because I was terrified of what we were about to do.  After all, I've never potty trained a child before, and I really had no clue what I was doing.  But, I listened to that mommy voice, put on my big girl panties, and bought Sierra some tiny pink training ones. 

We started on the 7th of March.  The first two days went horribly.  I spent all day following her around saying pee pee on potty pee pee on potty.  I wasn't determined to work on poo poo yet, we needed to get pee pee down first.  She pretty much only had accidents the first two days.  On day three I tried a different approach.  One that included her going commando from the waste down.  When she peed in her panties, it wasn't that much different that a diaper.  When she went without panties on, a pee pee meant a jet propulsion stream from between the legs (I learned from the time that she was an infant that not only boys have this capability) and a large puddle on the floor.  Hmmm, that was something for her to think about.  She didn't really like standing in the pee and having it run down her legs.  So on day 3, with this new approach we had 6 successes.  Hooray.  From there on out pee pee went quite well.  I had to be diligent and follow her around and sit her on the potty a lot, but she did very well.  The evil poo poo is another story.

Sierra was diagnosed with infantile dyschezia when she was very little.  It's the ability to gain muscle control of your colon at a very young age.  The normal time to gain that muscle control is around 18 months of age.  This used to be the time when it was recommended that people potty train.  But the average age that people generally potty train is now between 3 and 4.  Anyway, Sierra has been able to control her um, functions, since she was very small, so I shouldn't have been so surprised to discover exactly how long she could hold her poo in if she wanted to.   After two weeks of pretty much just hanging out at home in hopes to get her in a good pee pee routine, we started working on #2.  Boy did we struggle.  I tried everything to get her to go on the potty.  Bribes of tiny Oreo's (which she had never had in her life), fruit loops (another thing she had never tasted), watching Mickey Mouse while on the pot, none of which would coax her to go.  I could tell she needed to, but she walk around with her little cheeks all pinched and hold it in.  We've had so many constipation problems with the poor child as it is, and this was not helping. 

What amazed me was that she could find the perfect moment to let it all go in her pants.  I literally followed her every step for weeks.  She would get frustrated and say "Stay there."  Like chill out mom, I need my space.  But I don't believe in starting something and not finishing it.  I feel like that sends very mixed signals and is confusing to a child.  I was not harsh, but I was diligent.  I could follow her around for hours, and then go to the bathroom myself for ONE minute, come out and her panties would be full.  Or I would be cramming down my lunch and she would run in and say poo poo, which means mom time to clean out my britches.  I was really getting frustrated and felt like I was swimming in poo.  Luckily we have a lot of hardwood floors because a turd dropped on the run is much easier to clean up off of a laminate floor.  Bahahahaha.  Sorry that was quite crude, but oh so true. 

After some bad days of Sierra being backed up because of holding it I decided I was just going to back off a bit and see what happened.  She continued peeing on the potty fine.  She'll go in a public restroom as long as we promise to "no flushy" while she is in the stall.  As I backed off a little she still continued to go poo in her pants, but wasn't holding it so long.  Then I bought some MnM's.  Sweet little pieces of chocolate heaven to a child.  I decided that we would practice sitting on the potty and every time that she would push and grunt she would get a MnM.  We practiced this a couple of times for a day with no results.  Then all of a sudden, the next morning, she said poo poo, I sat her on the potty and she went.  I was so excited.  She acted like it was no big deal but did request her MnM's when she was finished.  Then that afternoon, she did the same thing.  When she was done, she put her little hands on both of my cheeks and said "I proud you mommy" which of course made me cry.  That's what I had said to her that morning when she went, but for some reason hearing those words, even only as a mimic of my own, was just what I needed to hear.   We had stuck with it and we were both prevailing!  This potty training story actually takes us well into her 20th month.  It was after nearly 6 weeks of potty training that this momentous day happened.  We still have accidents, but we are overall victorious!

So what else happened this month?  Sierra had FOUR teeth break through in a 2.5 week period.  That was fun.  These teeth have been bothering her for months and they should be her last teeth besides her two year molars, and eventually her permanent teeth.  We had many grumpy days, some sleepless nights, add that to potty training and you have a very grumpy..... Mommy.  We were quite the pair!  During this time we also went through a phase of refusing to eat much of anything besides lentil soup and fruit.  Noodles, peanut butter sandwiches, beans and rice, all things she usually loves, were refused in a not so polite manner.  Sometimes we could barely get her to eat two bites for a meal.  I was terribly worried even though I've heard every mother I know say that their kids went through that stage.  Sierra's just always been such a big eater - it was so unlike her.  I'm sure the teething/sore mouth attributed to this immensely.  

Sierra also started jumping this month.  To be honest, it can hardly be called a jump because she barely makes it off of the floor.  But she is quite proud of herself and it is adorable to watch.  She also knows all of her colors now.  It was just the basics at first but she's added black, brown, purple, pretty much any color.  She's also added diamond and square to her known shapes. 

Some of her favorite phrases are "Self!"  Which of course means she wants to do it by herself.  I think I would be rich if I had a penny for every time I hear this in a day.  I also frequently hear, "Oh Dear."  "Sic It" which translates to fix it.  "I got it!"  "PU that was close" which means phew that was close:)  She bumped her head recently and dramatically said "Oh Man!"  which made me giggle and so she said it for every situation for the next several hours. 

She is a VERY polite little girl and says please, thank you, and your welcome without any prompting.  In fact sometimes you get a thankyouyourwelcome all in one.  She also says "I sorry" all of the time.  Ever since she was an infant and would have her tummy aches I would rock her and say I'm Sorry over and over because there was really nothing else I could do.  So now every time she gets hurt she says "I Sorry."  She also says she's sorry if she bumps into me (or the table, chair, potty, tub, floor, etc) and that is usually followed by a mass of kisses on whatever item she ran into.  She also says "Hmmmm" and sticks her bottom lip out and puts a finger to her lips to contemplate the situation.  She's pretty stinking amazing:)  It's funny how frustrated you can be with your child, and they say or do such a simple thing that sweeps you off of your feet. 

I know this has been a long post, but a huge reason that I do this every month is to keep some of you updated that don't get to see Sierra frequently, but I also do this as a scrap book of sorts for Sierra when she gets older, and for me to look back on and get all sentimental like most mommies do. 

18 Months

A picture for Uncle Kevin.  This onesie was a souvenir he brought back for Sierra.

 I told her we needed to wait until they were cooked.  Yeah right mom.

My little cookie maker

They really taste better when they are done.  Especially with frosting! 

Beautiful decorations 

She loves to stick stickers on her face (and on mine and daddies too) 

Sierra needs to be accessorized while watching cartoons 

Get down! 

Pretty in Pink 

Grandma is such a good example;) 

Pull-ups make pretty cool hats 

Sierra was so excited to play in the snow 

Her first attempt at making a snow angel.... 

You can see it can't you?  :) 

Yay snow! 

It tastes pretty good too. 

This picture makes me smile.  I hope it makes you smile too. 

I'm a little behind right now.  On absolutely everything.  I always post a month behind because I wait until the end of Sierra's "month" to post.  But I'm even farther behind right now because we started potty training.  It's pretty consuming!  I'm basically following Sierra's bare biscuits around every second with her little potty in tow.  Anyway, I'm trying to get caught up and will talk more about that experience in the 19 month post.

It's hard to believe that we have an 18 month old!  She certainly is learning to have 18 month old tantrums!  We had a rough end to the month.  Some new teeth are coming in or maybe we are just going through a tantrum phase.  Either way I'm feeling a little bit frazzled, frightened, and really worn out.  Every time we get a new tooth aliens abduct my sweet Sierra and she is replaced with a little monster.  It's funny because I've said that in the past and so many people just say that they cannot believe Sierra would ever be naughty.  Ha!  Recently my grandma and mother who both swear that Sierra is a perfect little angel got to see her "noddiness" first hand. 

The hard part is knowing how to handle tantrums.  If she starts throwing a fit I generally try to distract her and remove her from the situation that is frustrating her.  But that doesn't always work.  When it doesn't I've learned to walk into the other room or really not acknowledge that she is throwing a fit.  The more attention she gets, the longer her tantrum lasts.  If she is throwing a fit because she wants something then I tell her I won't talk about or give her what she is asking for until she calms down.  I say, "Sierra throwing a fit does not get us what we want."  She really does try hard to calm down.  There are also times that nothing works and I just have to let the "fit" runs it's course.  I guess we are at a point that she is realizing she doesn't get everything she wants in life.  Life sure is hard:)  We have made progress though. Jesse and I are learning right along with Sierra in so many ways. 

It's funny because I really enjoyed 15 to 17 months.  Sierra and I were really having fun and the days seemed to go by quickly.  I was starting to think maybe just maybe I would be ready for another child.  And that maybe just maybe I was getting this parenting thing all figured out.  Then came 18 months and I was humbled.  I'm reminded that children go through sooo many phases and once you think you've gotten into a comfortable routine, EVERYTHING will change! 

Despite some cranky days Sierra is still learning like crazy.  Her language skills continue to improve.  Her baby talk is slowly fading and is replaced by real words.  When she is pretending she now uses the words she knows instead of baby babble.  Yet another reminder that she is growing up.  There are still times that she tries to tell me something and I just don't understand what she is asking.  This really frustrates her.  Usually she can make a hand gesture or take me and show me something to further explain what she wants.  But sometimes I just don't get it.  And hello tantrum!  I'm sure it's frustrating to know what you want to say but not be able to get it out, or even worse think you are being clear but no one understands what you are asking. 

We had a well baby visit and two shots at the beginning of the month.  She has always been between the 3rd and 10th percentile but this time she has jumped to the 50 percentile in weight.  She gained 2.5 lbs and grew 2 inches in 3 months.  She is about the 98th percentile for her height.  I was dreading the shots (even though she has always handled them well).  She did very well and didn't do much more than whimper after the second shot.  The nurse gave her some stickers and all was forgotten.  She is currently 34 inches tall and weighs  24lbs 4.5oz.  Her acid reflux seems to have improved all of a sudden and we are hopeful that we will be able to take her off of her reflux medicine soon.  The specialist said that she should quit having reflux between 18 and 24 months (he hoped anyway) and here we are at 18 months and we really have seen quite an improvement.  The other digestive issues continue to be a struggle but we pray that those will go away too.  

It's really is hard to believe that 18 months have gone by.  In some ways it seems like a lifetime ago that we could sleep in on weekends, eat warm meals, go to the bathroom in private, not plan life around naps and food, and be spontaneous.  BUT, it seems like just a few seconds ago that I was holding my new baby girl in my arms for the first time.  Sometimes it seems impossible that in this short of a time I have a child that now walks, talks, and eats on her own.  My tiny baby that mastered the art of sucking her toes now looks for the "fuzzies" in between them.  My infant that grabbed onto a rattle for this first time now uses her hands and fingers with ease to build with blocks and put pennies into her piggy bank.  My tiny child who was just learning to roll over can now walk, run, and jump (though she barely makes it off the floor).  And my sweet cooing Sierra can now tell me that she loves me.  All of this and so much more happened in 18 months time!  I'm so glad that I haven't missed any of it.