21 Months

My little fashionista.  At least she matches her froggy pj's with froggy boots:)

 First we dig our fingers in the mud

 Then we marvel at the beautiful mud

 Then we rinse it off in the mud puddle

 Sometimes it doesn't all come off so we ask mom for help

 Fun with daisies

 And dandelions

 A little spittle and dandelion fuzz anyone?

 Mother's Day

 Four generations!

Helping mommy fill up pots 

Crazy after bath hair

Her hair is seriously out of control 

Helping water 

She loved these lilacs!  Couldn't stop smelling them. 

Happy, silly, Sierra 

I get this look more and more these days! 

It's been quite a month!  We've got this potty thing down!  Sierra now tells us when she has to go potty (she still says poo poo whether or not she has to go pee pee or poo) and rarely has accidents of either kind.  She is dry after nap time and recently has been dry in the morning too.  We can go to town in panties and she uses big potties at other people's houses or in the store without a problem.  It has been quite a journey but boy has it paid off.   Diapers are a thing of the past.  Our wallet and the environment are both cheering us on.  Well done family of 3!

I've always been so proud of how fearless (this worries me sometimes also) and confident Sierra is.  I would kind of pat myself on the back at times when I would see another child cowering at something while I watched Sierra take on the world with open arms.  And then one day there came a loud noise.  We were at my grandma's house and Sierra was playing with an old organ.  It doesn't work right and most of the keys make no sound at all.  But we discovered on a fateful day during her 21st month, that the percussion beat function of the organ works.  And it works well.  Sierra was busy playing and pushed a button that started the drums.  It was so loud that you could feel it.  I was right there but didn't know which button she had pushed.  As she was literally trying to crawl inside of me she whimpered, "No red button."  So I found the red button, pushed it, and all was quiet.  After peeling her off of me I told her we would listen to it again but not so loudly this time.  I turned it back on and clapped and danced in hopes of getting her past the trauma.  It did not work.  After that, anything remotely loud scared the daylights out of her.  We had a week where she was permanently attached to my legs. 

Despite the fact that we live in the country, the main road out here is a shortcut for trucks running loads from Alsea to Eugene.  There is a lot of truck traffic.  We cannot see it, but when they come down the hill and use their jake breaks, it is pretty loud.  Loud enough to worry Sierra.  After 20 months of being totally oblivious to the sound, she would run and leap into my lap every time a truck went by.    She spent about a week glued to me, aware of every tiny little sound; the water heater switching on, the dryer, even a truck on mickey mouse clubhouse sent her running.  I did my best to explain sounds and tell her that we just hear them with our ears and they cannot hurt us.  After several weeks, she is doing much better.  She is still very aware of sounds and asks, "What's that?" often but doesn't usually come running to me unless it's a pretty big sound. 

Despite the recent fear of sounds, she is not afraid of much else.  I try to work hard every day to create a confident child.  I've spent so much of my life being insecure and have been afraid to try new things or do things I'd really like to do.  My wish for Sierra is that she will be confident enough to pursue whatever dreams she has.  I don't want her to be afraid to fail.  I know so many of us are, and it may be an impossible wish, but I am going to try my hardest.  Whether it's encouraging her to sing at the top of her lungs, dance through the house, stick her fingers in the mud, hold a potato bug or worm, or scurry after a snake or lizard.  I cannot pretend to know exactly how to help create this confident being - but it is my mission.  I don't care what she chooses to be, I just want her to pursue her greatest loves in life. 

That being said, I realize there has to be some middle ground.  While I don't want her to be timid and afraid, I don't want her to be carefree and unaware that there are dangers around her.  Of coarse as a mommy you have moments where you want your baby to stay innocent forever - blissfully unaware that there is pain and cruelty in the world.  But there are both of those things in this world, and it's terrifying to realize that at many points in your child's life they will witness those things.  So our job as parents is to be here to comfort them but also teach them how to handle these situations when you aren't there.  What a scary job!  Please don't let me screw this up (that's pretty much my prayer every day:)!  And in trying to teach Sierra to be confident and unafraid, I'm trying to be those things as well.  After all, I am her role model, until she's at least 3 anyway:)  So when she asks me to sing Wheels on the Bus as we are walking through the grocery store, I do.  Maybe not loudly, but I do it.  I try to not complain about my flaws or point out the flaws of strangers under my breath.  When a bug flies into my hair I try not to scream and run through the field hitting myself in the head.  For those of you that know me well, this is the hardest of all!  I'm trying to show her that this world is a beautiful place bugs and all.  The interesting thing is, in trying to show her this, I'm finding beauty in unexpected places myself.  Thank you Sierra.  Thank you for making your mommy want to be a better human being.